Professor Montague Simplington stopped the delivery van. Several dozen protesters were blocking the rural Transylvanian road ahead of him. Some people were carrying signs, and most of the protesters were shouting. Some of the signs read, “Keep Your Vampires to Yourselves!” or “Go Back to England!”

Pollyanna Dallas, one of Professor Simplington’s research assistants, said, “Professor, what’s the matter with these people? Don’t they understand we’re trying to restore the natural balance?”

Dan de LeDan was Professor Simplington’s other research assistant. He was sharing the passenger’s seat with Pollyanna, and he said, “They’re just a bunch of ignorant country people. What do you expect?”

“Let’s not be so harsh on them, Dan,” said the professor. “We must respect the opinions of others, even if we’re going to ignore them and do what we want anyway. Vampires have been extinct in Transylvania for a hundred years, and these poor uneducated peasants have lived all their lives without the undead scouring their land at night for the blood of the living. They’re afraid of change, which is only natural, especially among the ignorant. They weren’t educated in universities like we were, and they don’t appreciate the ecological rationale for restoring the ecosystem’s natural predators. Once vampires are again a part of the food chain here, the indigenous people will get used to it. People are highly adaptable, even if they don’t want to be.”

“You’d think they’d be glad,” said Pollyanna. “Crucifix sales and garlic sales are going to go way up. It’s going to be great for local businesses.”

An egg hit the windshield, followed by a cabbage and a tomato. Professor Simplington turned on the windshield wipers. He honked the horn, but no one moved. More fruit and vegetables hit the windshield.

“I wish they’d throw a hamburger,” said Dan. “And some chips. I’m getting hungry.”

In the distance, the three naturalists could see Dracula’s castle. In the opposite direction, the sun was setting. The shadows were getting longer by the minute.

“Can’t we just release him right here?” asked Pollyanna.

“Excellent suggestion, Pollyanna,” the professor replied.

Pollyanna smiled, delighted by the professor’s praise. She twirled her hair around one of her fingers.

Between the driver’s seat and the passenger’s seat was a door leading to the back of the van. Professor Simplington looked through the doorway. It was almost completely dark in there. The professor pushed a button on the dashboard, and the overhead light came on in the back. He could see that the coffin they’d brought was still strapped down. It had shifted only slightly during the drive from the airport in Bucharest. The professor looked back at the crowd that was blocking the road.

“I’d planned on reaching the castle and releasing the vampire there, but I don’t see any reason why the vampire can’t get there on his own. He might not even choose to live there.”

“I wouldn’t want to live in that old, crumbling place,” said Pollyanna. “But then again, I’m not a vampire.”

“Professor, can’t we just explain to these people that they’re overreacting? It’s not like we’re bringing Dracula back. He’s dead. This is just Burt, the retarded vampire. He’s not even very good at hunting.”

“These poor rubes, for whom I have nothing but respect and affection, are emotionally driven, Dan. We can’t reason with them. If they don’t want to let us go up to the castle, we’ll just follow Pollyanna’s suggestion and release the vampire right here.”

The professor put the van into park, and he turned off the engine. He left the headlights on because it was getting dark. The protesters shouted, thinking they’d been victorious.

Professor Simplington locked his door. “Come on,” he said to his assistants as he got out of his seat. “Dan, lock your door, would you?.”

Dan locked the door. Pollyanna followed the professor into the back of the van. Dan followed Pollyanna, and his eyes naturally glanced at her well-proportioned bottom.

“Dan, pay attention,” said the professor.

“Was he looking at my butt again?” asked Pollyanna.

“I’m sorry. I can’t help it.”

“Never mind that, you two. We’re about to release the first vampire to roam the wilds of Transylvania in a hundred years. This is an historic moment.”

The professor opened the back door of the van, and the protesters rushed around the van. They moved a few feet farther back when they saw the coffin, but still they shouted and threw produce. Professor Simplington batted away a head of cabbage, and he looked up front. No one was in front of the vehicle.

“Hang on!” he shouted to his assistants. He ran to the front of the van. Before the protesters had figured out what he was doing, the professor had started the van, put it into gear, and floored the gas pedal.

The van lurched forward. Pollyanna and Dan fell over, grabbing onto the nearest item to keep from falling out of the van.

“Professor, Dan grabbed by butt again!”

“It was an accident! I was trying to keep from falling out the back door!”

“Well don’t grab my back door! Grab something else!”

The professor looked in the side mirror. All of the peasants were left behind.

“We did it!” shouted the professor. “We’re going to make it to the castle!”

The professor stopped the van. “Hurry up front, you two! Get in your seat!”

Dan and Pollyanna returned to the front of the van. Each of them took up half of the passenger’s seat. Dan was happy he’d been able to put his hand on Pollyanna’s sweet, soft bottom for the second time in three weeks.

Pollyanna crossed her arms and looked upset. It didn’t really bother her much that she’d been groped, but she knew that if she didn’t put on a show of outrage that Dan would try to feel her up every day. She secretly wished it had been the professor who had grabbed her, but she would never tell him that.

She especially didn’t want the professor to think that she had feelings for Dan. If the professor had any feelings for her, she wanted to be sure that he wouldn’t be discouraged by the thought that he might have competition. She knew that Professor Simplington was shy by nature. If everything went well with the vampire’s release, the professor’s elation might give him the courage to make a move during celebrations that night, especially if he had a little too much to drink. If he didn’t make a move, Pollyanna was sure that it would take little effort to seduce him. She’d waited many months for the right situation, and it looked like she was finally going to get her wish.

The professor floored the gas pedal again, and they pulled away from the locals who had gotten within several yards of the van. The natives threw more food, but it fell short of the van. When the vehicle rounded a curve in the road leading to the castle, the three English naturalists could no longer see the natives.

“Aha!” shouted the professor. “We should get to the castle just as the sun sets!”

Dan held up his hand for the professor to slap it in celebration, but the professor didn’t notice it. Pollyanna saw the professor’s smile, and she thought that he’d never looked more handsome than at that moment. Nevertheless, she still kept her arms crossed and pretended to be unhappy.

Ten minutes later, the van pulled up to the castle’s gateway. There were hinges still fastened to the stone, but the old wood of the gates had long since rotted away. The professor slowly drove the van forward. He parked the vehicle in the center of the stone courtyard, but he left the motor running.

End of Part 1

Part 2: https://markjameswooding.locals.com/post/778308/short-story-theyre-back-part-2-of-2